Overcome First Date Jitters

So he asked you out….now what?

First dates can be filled with anxiety, anticipation and dread. Before panic overwhelms you recognize every situation is different, there is no right or wrong. Think of this as an adventure and embrace the experience. This is your opportunity to test the water and find out if this person is someone you would like to get to know better. It is the perfect time to set the tone for future conversations, open-ended questions are key to getting communication flowing.

Here are some topics to break the ice and open dialogue.

What excites him…what is he passionate about?

This clues you in on where his head and possibly heart is at. Is he passionate about career, education, friends or family? This may reveal some of his values and help you to better understand where his focus is.

What challenges him?

This gives you insights into how he interprets obstacles and navigates challenges. You may get more information on the level of stressors in his life and how he manages them. Is he easily overwhelmed, dependent or able to take charge of situations?

How does he like to relax and recharge?

This question sounds benign but is very telling. For instance, some may choose to watch a movie, take their stress to the gym for a workout, go with their friends to the bar for a drink or engage in high risk behaviors. Does he rely on healthy positive sources of relaxation or engage in behaviors that may not be in line with your habits or preferences.

Pay attention to the way you feel as you interact and receive information. What you have learned? Is this someone you would like to get to know better? Does it feel like friendship or possible romance? Only time will tell. Remember to relax, have fun and be open to the experience.

Stacey Shumway Johnson, LPCC-S, LICDC-CS, BCC – www.2xlcoach.com