Waiting for Mr. Right?

Starting to feel like a ‘jerk magnet’?

Before you give up it is time to take a step back and explore the situation. So why do we attract the wrong men? Some of the issues stem from socialization, as it is easy to get caught up in Hollywood’s “Cinderella Myth,” that Mr. Right will magically find us and fulfill our every need. Because of this we wait, create expectations and act on or react to these often unreasonable expectations.

Sound familiar?

Oftentimes, we come to realize that we are not choosing our mate, but waiting for them to choose us.

So instead of being proactive and going after relationships we desire, we settle for the relationships that simply come our way. In our desire to experience Mr. Right, we allow Mr. Wrong to get a little too close until we lose our sense of self and direction then end up feel trapped and confused by how we landed in the situation to begin with. At this point, it is easy to get our true feelings confused with reactive feelings that are often tied to damaged self-worth and confidence.

The choice of your mate is one of the most important decisions you will make in your life.

The person you wish to spend your time with, create a life with and possibly raise a family with. Why then are we not treating it as such, being proactive and approaching it the same way we would a business endeavor?

With business we recognize our power and ability to choose what we want, where we want to be and how we want to be treated, because we recognize it is ‘business’, so it has some emotional distance and does not feel as personal or as much like the sting of rejection we feel so easily in personal relationships. It is this fear of rejection that often keeps us trapped in this cycle.

Recognizing and understanding patterns is an important part of breaking free.

1. What are your expectations in relationships?
2. How do you handle rejection?
3. Do you let the fear of rejection prevent you from going after relationships?
4. Do you fall into relationships because it is easier than being alone?

 

Stacey Shumway Johnson, LPCC-S, LICDC-CS, BCC – www.2xlcoach.com