8 Strategies to Stop People Pleasing

Do you often feel taken advantage of or feel your needs are being ignored or pushed behind others?

Sound familiar?

Then you may have fallen into the trap of ‘people pleasing’.  Too often we fear negative responses, don’t want to let others down or feel guilty so we agree to do things we do not want to do to keep everyone happy.  Sadly, we forget how to make ourselves happy and often create negative dynamics with co-workers, family and friends from feelings of resentment that develop in this cycle of trying to be all things to all people.

So how do we avoid being a people pleaser?

1. Do not make decisions based upon getting other’s approval. Seek inner counsel and listen to your heart.
2. Make your needs a priority. This is not about hoarding resources or being selfish, this is about identifying what you need and recognizing that you will have to play a part in manifesting it.
3. Set appropriate personal boundaries. Although it can be difficult to set boundaries they exist for a reason to protect both sides from feeling used or abused.
4. Avoid making assumptions.
5. Utilize proactive communication skills. Learn how to appropriately express needs and make requests.
6. Learn how to say ‘no’. Increase awareness that ‘no’ does not mean rejection. ‘No’ is simply a guideline for behavior.
7. Reality-check your expectations. Are your expectations appropriate?
8. Respect the boundaries of others.

 

Stacey Shumway Johnson, LPCC-S, LICDC-CS, BCC – www.2xlcoach.com