When He Comes on Too Strong

We are familiar with the stereotypical emotionally unavailable man and strategies to get them to connect in a relationship.

But what about when the opposite is true and your date is coming on too strong? With all of the games people play when dating, it can feel flattering when someone is complimentary, upfront and clear in their interest for you.

But what if they take it too far and become overbearing….even threatening? Where do you draw the line? How do you navigate this difficult situation?

1.  Explore your feelings.

What do you want out of this relationship?  Do you wish to pursue it farther or are you starting to feel disconnected?  Sometimes the hard push from a date can be tied to their perception of your disinterest and becomes a concentrated effort to keep you engaged. So try to be aware of your feelings and how you project them.

2.  Be authentic.

Be true to yourself.  Sometimes we tend to follow the path of least resistance.  Don’t fall into the trap of ‘people pleasing’ and stay in a relationship or situation because of a misguided sense of obligation.

3.  Be consistent and set firm boundaries.

Remember boundaries exist to protect you and give others instructions on how to interact with you.  Be very clear about your involvement, interest and intent in the relationship.  Too often we worry about ‘hurting’ the other party to the detriment of our own wellbeing.  These inconsistencies create mixed signals leading to more misunderstandings and uncomfortable situations.  It is kindest to be firm and clear about your intensions.

4.  When you feel your boundaries are not respected or if you feel in harm’s way, take appropriate measures to protect your wellbeing.

Stacey Shumway Johnson, LPCC-S, LICDC-CS, BCC- www.2xlcoach.com