How to Know if He is Worth Pursuing

One of the biggest hurdles in the dating game is to find the right match.

It is very difficult to be patient when all of your friends are settling down into relationships while you are still waiting to find your “Mr. Right”.  This desire to ‘nest’ can create a lot of pressure and make you more apt to overlook warning signs that you are heading in the wrong direction.  How do you keep your bearings and know if the guy you are attracted to is worth pursuing?

Here are some points to consider:

1.  How do they manage stress?

? Are they able to cope adequately or do they engage in negative, addictive or violent behaviors?  Poor coping skills can contribute to destructive relationships with poor outcomes, do not minimize or excuse away these types of issues as they create major obstacles in relationships.

2.  Are they ‘plugged into’ the relationship?

Is the relationship a priority for them

3.  What is their communication style and how does it mesh with yours?

?Are you able to have meaningful conversations and resolve conflicts in a healthy way?

4.  Does the relationship feel balanced?

?Lopsided relationships tend to breed resentment so it is important to feel mutual support.

5.  Finally, time for a reality check.

Does the “potential” of the relationship match the reality?  You have to accept the person you are with as they are today, not who you “think” they are capable of being.  The way things are at this moment, may be the way they are in the future.  If that is the case, is this relationship going to be ‘enough’ for you?

Stacey Shumway Johnson, LPCC-S, LICDC-CS, BCC – www.2xlcoach.com