How to Know When It’s Time to Let Him Go and Move On

Relationships involve great investments in time, energy and emotion.

Once you cross that line and allow someone into your heart it is difficult to let them go.  More often than not, you may find yourself making excuses or shifting expectations to accommodate a failing relationship.  When you find that you are hoping for the best, yet continue to be disappointed with the state of the relationship how do you decide when or if it is time to move on?

Here are some signs your relationship is not working:

1.  You find yourself clinging to positive memories from the beginning of the relationship.  This brings the ‘present’ into question.  If you were content in the relationship ‘as is’, then you would be able to be more ‘present’ in it and not dwell so much in the past.

2.  You find most conversations about your partner start with ‘if only ….’ This shows a focus on the ‘potential’ of the relationship and ‘potential’ of your partner to step up verses the reality of allowing the relationship to be simply what it is and your partner to be who they choose to be.

3.  You are always shifting your schedule, emotions, basically ‘your world’ to fit into theirs.  It is never good to put yourself on the backburner as overtime this builds resentment.   It is difficult to get your needs met when the focus is on pleasing and accommodating your partner at all cost.

4.  You are expending all of your energy into making the relationship work.   The relationship is uneven and out of balance which increases negative energy and stress in the relationship.

5.  You feel alone and disconnected.  Relationships are about connecting.  When you feel alone and disconnected it is often because either you or your partner has disengaged from the relationship.

Stacey Shumway Johnson, LPCC-S, LICDC-CS, BCC – www.2xlcoach.com